Family Dynamics & Theories

Hello Everyone!

As the title suggests we learned about family dynamics and Theories this week in class. There are some very interesting things that we covered, so let's jump right into it!Theories are "set(s) of logically related propositions that explain some phenomenon" (Lauer and Lauer, P. 20) We learned about 4 theories that can occur in a family, I'll talk a bit about them.

• Conflict Theory:
• Conflict theory proposes that in all relationships there are inequalities. It varies widely from relationship to relationship, but people aren't actually completely equal. If you think about various relationships, you can probably pick out some where one spouse seems to have power over the other. they have the final say in every decision. Or, maybe you know a family (or have experience) who goes to one parent and gets rejected, and then goes to another and gets a yes. Both of these could be considered conflict theory. It's not inherently bad to be unequal in different ways, sometimes someone has a better strength in a certain area. It only gets bad when the influence get overwhelming and/or abusive.
• Exchange Theory:
• Exchange theory involves people not wanting the cost of the relationship to outweigh the rewards in the relationship. This theory proposes that if you are "exchange theory minded" then you will do everything you can to get as much out of your relationship, but also not give as much back in return. Maybe you make your spouse do the dishes after every meal by themselves. Or maybe you are the one stuck folding the laundry every day even though your significant other clearly has plenty of time to help. You are likely to not be too happy, and if you take this theory to the extreme you might break things off if things don not improve. I hope no one jumps to the end like that, but instead talks it over with their significant other calmly instead of exploding.
• Symbolic Interaction Theory:
• Symbolic interaction theory has to do with people's actions. What a person does is sometimes more symbolic than factual. For example, Hugs. Hugs are a very simple gesture, but they are also so very complex. Think about all the different hugs there are. There are side hugs, bro hugs, hugs of comfort, romantic hugs, the list could go on forever. Well, because hugs are so simple, yet so complex, they are misread all the time. A guy might just want to help comfort a girl during a stressful time, but she might see it as him trying to make a move on her. In another example, you might try to do a chore your spouse usually does to be nice, but they might take it the wrong way and think you did it because they were being lazy. 
• Systems Theory:
• Systems theory is an interesting one. It proposes that every family acts as a system, and that every relationship inside the family is a sub-system. Then, these Systems always have rules and every system has sub-systems, such as Father-son, Mother-daughter, Sibling-sibling. These rules that the system has can be kind of funny. Did you ever have unwritten rules in your family, or do you currently? Think about what they are. Do you all do the dishes right after dinner? Do you kneel or sit as a family when you pray? Are there certain things that you do not bring up around certain family members? It seems like families have this unspoken language. You can just give each other "the look" and know exactly what and what not to do and say. 

All of these theories are really fun to think about and contemplate. I challenge you to think about them and see if you can see some similar characteristics in your family. Thanks for reading! Have a great week!