Hello Readers!
This week was a very interesting and eye opening week of learning! As you can tell from the title, this week we learned about preparing for marriage. The world sure has changed what dating, courting, engagement, and marriage means. Lets just jump right in!
Let me first pose a question: What do people do these days to prepare for marriage? There are many answers which vary from culture to culture. I will just list a few. Cohabitation, Dating, hooking-up, Courtship. Just think to yourself for a moment what each of these things mean to you.
Dating has changed from going out and doing activities to being a couple. Not long ago dating was based around getting to know people through doing planned activities together, and just having good wholesome fun. But today, dating has a whole new definition. Now days, if someone is dating, it means they are exclusive and are probably sleeping with each other. So it is a pretty night and day difference. But due to this new definition of dating, it has thrown off the stages in a relationship and kind of mushed them all together. What are these stages you might ask? They are as follows: Dating, Courtship, Engagement, Marriage.
Nowadays, people have started sliding through these stages instead of moving purposely through each stage. Each stage should be defined and know between the two people. Dating is as we have already covered, just two people, who are not exclusive, having a good time on a date that is planned, paid for, and they are paired off purposefully. I say that because group dates count just as well as single dates, as long as it meets those three guidelines. After dating comes courtship. Courtship is, in my opinion, a lost part of these stages. Now people just "date" until maybe one day marriage is brought up and boom, they are somehow engaged. Courtship is the part most would consider dating in today's world. This is when you have talked about marriage and you both feel that it could be a possibility in your future, so you then start dating exclusively to get to know each other better (meet families, etc.). The most important thing to remember is to Define The Relationship (DTR). Many people make fun of DTR's, but they are a necessity in a relationship. If you both are on the same page then you both know what to expect, and what you want out of the relationship. But you need to move from stage to stage purposefully together.
After courtship comes engagement. This hasn't been as effected as dating and courtship, but it still has been effected in some ways. It is becoming less common to have a formal proposal of marriage. There are many who just casually bring up marriage, and if they are in mutual agreement, just decide they are engaged. But the formal proposal is an important part. If something is formal, then it is more likely you will be more committed to that engagement. You are also moving purposefully to the next stage instead of just sluggishly sliding into it.
The last step, as you know, is marriage. although the concept of marriage is still the same, I feel that it isn't as meaningful as it once was. It might be a cause of lazily sliding through the stages, or people are just more self centered these days. Either way, your work isn't done once you are married. Many people stop going on dates once they are married because they see dating as a "finding the right one" activity, when really, as we have learned, it is a "get to know you" activity. So keep dating once you are married! There is always more you can learn about your spouse. Even for those that have been married for years can learn new things about their spouse.
Well, I hope you were able to learn something today. Even if you are already married, you can at least come away with going on more dates. I promise you you wont regret it. Have a good week!
This week was a very interesting and eye opening week of learning! As you can tell from the title, this week we learned about preparing for marriage. The world sure has changed what dating, courting, engagement, and marriage means. Lets just jump right in!
Let me first pose a question: What do people do these days to prepare for marriage? There are many answers which vary from culture to culture. I will just list a few. Cohabitation, Dating, hooking-up, Courtship. Just think to yourself for a moment what each of these things mean to you.
Dating has changed from going out and doing activities to being a couple. Not long ago dating was based around getting to know people through doing planned activities together, and just having good wholesome fun. But today, dating has a whole new definition. Now days, if someone is dating, it means they are exclusive and are probably sleeping with each other. So it is a pretty night and day difference. But due to this new definition of dating, it has thrown off the stages in a relationship and kind of mushed them all together. What are these stages you might ask? They are as follows: Dating, Courtship, Engagement, Marriage.
Nowadays, people have started sliding through these stages instead of moving purposely through each stage. Each stage should be defined and know between the two people. Dating is as we have already covered, just two people, who are not exclusive, having a good time on a date that is planned, paid for, and they are paired off purposefully. I say that because group dates count just as well as single dates, as long as it meets those three guidelines. After dating comes courtship. Courtship is, in my opinion, a lost part of these stages. Now people just "date" until maybe one day marriage is brought up and boom, they are somehow engaged. Courtship is the part most would consider dating in today's world. This is when you have talked about marriage and you both feel that it could be a possibility in your future, so you then start dating exclusively to get to know each other better (meet families, etc.). The most important thing to remember is to Define The Relationship (DTR). Many people make fun of DTR's, but they are a necessity in a relationship. If you both are on the same page then you both know what to expect, and what you want out of the relationship. But you need to move from stage to stage purposefully together.
After courtship comes engagement. This hasn't been as effected as dating and courtship, but it still has been effected in some ways. It is becoming less common to have a formal proposal of marriage. There are many who just casually bring up marriage, and if they are in mutual agreement, just decide they are engaged. But the formal proposal is an important part. If something is formal, then it is more likely you will be more committed to that engagement. You are also moving purposefully to the next stage instead of just sluggishly sliding into it.
The last step, as you know, is marriage. although the concept of marriage is still the same, I feel that it isn't as meaningful as it once was. It might be a cause of lazily sliding through the stages, or people are just more self centered these days. Either way, your work isn't done once you are married. Many people stop going on dates once they are married because they see dating as a "finding the right one" activity, when really, as we have learned, it is a "get to know you" activity. So keep dating once you are married! There is always more you can learn about your spouse. Even for those that have been married for years can learn new things about their spouse.
Well, I hope you were able to learn something today. Even if you are already married, you can at least come away with going on more dates. I promise you you wont regret it. Have a good week!
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