Sexual Intimacy and Family Life

Hello Readers!

     This week was an interesting one, as you can probably tell by the title, but it was a good one. Sex is an important part of a marriage. It brings the man and woman closer together and unifies them as one. Sex is more than just a lustful desire, and even further, it is more than just a natural part of human emotion. It is a result of the progression of a committed and loving relationship. That being said, it should only happen when a couple truly trust and respect each other and have been legally and lawfully married. It should be a binding and relationship building experience.

     Although sex is an important part of a marriage, it is not always easy, especially for those who have not experienced it before. I have heard it said that "Sex takes practice" and that is definitely true. I know with my wife and I, we struggled for the first week of our marriage to be intimate. Whether it was just shyness or physical inability, it was challenging. But we were able to persevere, and it has helped us to grow closer together in ways we could never have imagined.

     Many people may not agree with everything that I have said, and that is probably because of how popular it is, in today's world, to be intimate with people we do not even know, or just simply find attractive. Doing it this way may seem more fun and exciting, but it does more damage than most people will let themselves accept. It causes so much heart break and feelings of guilt. It also trains you to look for qualities in people that are more shallow than deep. If you remember from a previous post how I discussed how the meaning of dating has changed from doing activities to eventually find a spouse to being "hook up" buddies. This is where it came from. People are scared of commitment, they do not want to grow up until they feel they have got their fun in, so they turn to hooking up instead of seeking out a partner to build a family and relationship with for life.

Now that I have talked about sex, why it is important, and when it is appropriate to participate in it, I want to cover some basic things about sex that I found very interesting, and that I hope might be able to help some people now or in the future. So, what needs to be understood in sexual intimacy? The excitement phase comes first. This is the phase in which the two partners get "turned on" and prepare for having sex. The excitement phase is very different between men and women, it is quick for men and slower for women. This can be difficult for men to understand, but it is important to have self control and to wait until their partner is ready. Women cannot and will not have sex unless they are feeling close and safe with their partner.

This chart below shows a few possible experiences a man and a woman might have while having sex. As you can see, women can orgasm many times during the plateau, while men can only orgasm once. This is because women have a much faster recovery time after they orgasm.

Also, there is one last thing that may not apply much to what I have been talking about,
but I found it pretty interesting. It is some chemistry behind sex. During sex there are
at least three different hormones released. Serotonin - a feel-good hormone, Dopamine - an excitement hormone, Oxytocin (Women) - Plays a big role in connection. Oxytocin was especially interesting to me because it is the same hormone released while a woman is giving birth. This is why women are so attached to their kids, especially right after birth. Just some fun facts for you. Thanks for reading!