The Family Under Stress

Hello Readers!

     This was a good week, I learned a lot, so I hope you will be able to get something out of what I share with you. First I want to clarify the difference between stress and distress. Stress is when something is pushing against something or someone else. Being Distressed is when you are upset about it. Often we use stress as a term to define how in distress we are. It is important to know the difference between these two because stress is actually a positive thing in healthy amounts. Without stress no one would be motivated to do anything. You wouldn't get out of bed in the morning because there would be nothing motivating or pushing you to get out of bed.

  Stress in the family is also important in a healthy amount. Have you ever seen a family that seems to be so tight knit, and they seem to have everything together? Chances are it is because they have been through stressful times that have brought them closer together. Stress helps us grow as individuals, but also helps our families grow as well.

My extended family on my mom's side has seen this in action due to a terrible crisis. My Grandpa Weight was in a terrible snowmobile accident. As a result of his accident he broke his neck. This left my grandpa a quadriplegic. It was a terrible experience for everyone, as you can imagine, but when the family had to come together to take care of him it drew everyone together. My grandpa was confined to a bed for five years, and had to have constant supervision that whole time. Each family had to take a "shift" each night to take care of him periodically throughout the night. After the five years, and they finally decided to let him go, everyone had grown together so much. It is truly amazing to see how something so terrible can be so beneficial to relationships. Crisis is not just a danger, it’s an opportunity.

Of course, stress can be a danger and detrimental. People don't always respond positively to their circumstances. When people don't react well, it really hurts those who are around them. It is not always the easiest thing to react positively, especially when it is a seriously big issue, but it always helps the situation when you are positive. If you can learn to operate your brain, you brain can’t operate you.

With all of the crazy things that happen in the world, you can guarantee that there is always
going to be a stressor on you and your family. Many of these things will also put your family
in distress. This is when it is important to be resilient. Resilience is the ability to rebound
from life’s challenges. I have heard it said that "success isn't measured on how many times
you avoid being knocked down, but how many times you are knocked down and get
back up." But, like many things in life, it is much easier said than done. My wife and I have
been working on developing resilience together. We have been working on seeing things
through a positive light. We also work hard to sit down and talk things through when things
get hard. Here are some tips to developing resilience.

• How to develop resilience
• Get perspective (What’s the worst that can happen?)
• Weigh the “unearned good” in life vs the “unearned bad” 
• Toughen up. Cognition. 
• Focus on your power to be happy.

Thanks for reading! I hope you found something beneficial to apply to your life! Have a good week!